WORTH THE WAIT
This design has some special meaning to me across several fronts. Waiting and trusting in the waiting is something that God is always working on in me. I did the uneasy waiting to get pregnant with our second child. I did the waiting for healing after losing pregnancies/babies. I also did the waiting during a risky pregnancy. Then, years after I thought my little family was complete, God called us to adopt and wait some more. And this is an area I was not, and still am not, asking for any more growth in. Haha. We met E when he was 1.5 years old and went back to get him at 3 years old. I think paper pregnant was just as hard.
Whatever waiting season you are in, I want to encourage you with this... God is in the waiting. He used each of these seasons to teach me to lean on Him in a whole new way. And looking back, I wouldn't change any of it. In each circumstance God was drawing me nearer to Him, growing me to trust in Him, teaching me to trust His plan and His timing, guiding me to relinquish control, and a whole lot more. As I look back on the day the waiting felt over and we all got to meet Ethan, this is what still resonates with me. It was all worth it. He was worth it. So worth the wait. Worth every day. Every tear. Every prayer. Every time I begged God. Every hard moment. And every hard day since. It is all worth all the good on the other side.
Here is what I wrote in my journal at the end of the day after reuniting with E, when the waiting was finally over.
Feb 3 Day 1 in China
Today was amazing. I just felt this incredible peace from the Lord the whole day. I thought I would ball my eyes out today. So much that I would scare him. But I can not explain the peace and joy that came over me. My spirit was calm in a way that there are just no explanations for. God gave me just what I needed for the moment. In every moment.
We woke up about 5am China time, bursting at the seams with excitement. We were just so ready for this day. We all got ready and just waited. Hurry up and wait. That’s been a common theme throughout this process. Naomi planned for us to meet around 9am. So, she went to his house to get him and walk him over to us. We were all expectantly staring out the glass windows just waiting to catch a glimpse of him walking towards us. "Here he comes." We all gathered a few feet back from the door to make room for him to walk in (without feeling totally bombarded). He came through the door and immediately sat down to take his shoes off. Cause that’s what you do when you walk in the door if you are Chinese. So he takes them off and then goes to put them right back on. Cause that’s what you do when you are 3. So I ease my way over to him to help. It’s the simple things. Just getting to help him put on shoes. Meeting his first need in the first moment. The first potential moment for bonding. All I can think is “I still can’t believe I get to do this. I get to be his mama.” And he just looks up at me with those deep brown eyes. It’s really no different than that first time you hold your brand new baby and think the same thing. In awe of your own capacity to love. Overwhelmed by what you have gotten to and will get to do. And all the promise you see that lies there in. The fruition of all the waiting that felt so endless.
From there he just does what every other 3 year old would do. He moves on to the next thing he can explore. And we all just follow along. The kids were gentle, and patient, and just all around amazing. Getting to watch them receive him as their own is such a gift. They can bond with a language that I just can’t. They just play and he melts right into them. We played and we laughed and we played some more and eventually he would reach for one of us to pick him up. And help him with the next thing. Every moment is potential for bonding and growth.
We must have sat at the table and played with a wooden toy car for an hour. He would roll that little car to each of us across the table. He thought it was so funny. It rolled over his fingers at one point. (Which didn’t hurt at all). Lily leaned in to kiss his hand and that set in motion the game of cause and effect. So he did it on purpose and asked for a kiss and just giggled. And then he rolled over all of our fingers and gave each of our hands kisses. Back and forth we played the game, over and over again. It was pure and simple giggles and laughs, and kisses. Love and trust growing right before our eyes.
He adores Jason. I think he knows how soft his heart is. He wanted Jason to hold him so much. And they laugh and cut up and he looks for him when he has walked away. Which just makes me melt. They seemed to have bonded instantly. I have prayed for these moments for so long.
God I just pray for these bonds to continue to grow and thrive. Thank you for giving me the strength to wait for this.
This design is hanging in our house as a reminder of how good God was in our past seasons of waiting and to encourage us in the next seasons of waiting. Feel free to SAVE THIS FREE DESIGN (just right/double click and save image) to remind and encourage you as well. You can also get it personalized in my shop.